So...As my girls were piling in the van a few days ago, the little one says to the big one: "[A certain boy in her class] says I am hot."
("Hot" was spoken in three syllables, by the way And, as a reminder, the little one is 5. F.I.V.E. five.)
I throw out to the back seat that it is indeed a warm day. Both girls at the same time start telling me (in their own words) that he meant he loves her/likes her. I asked P what she said back to the boy and she said she ignored him. I was thankful for that, but she still heard it and processed it.
So, what do we do? What do we, as mothers of young, (very young), children do about how sexualized our world is? I don't know how to protect her, or arm her, for it at the age of 5. Do I ignore it? I feel like I am ignoring a teachable moment, but I don't know what to teach. Do I tell her that she is beautiful and sweet and smart and kind and a child of God? (This is what I did.) Do I begin THE discussion about boys and girls? (She's 5, folks) Do I tell her to tattle on the little boy or never play with him again? Do I tattle on him myself? Can I thump him in the back of the head? I know I can't do that and I don't really even want to. He isn't the problem. But he is a wake up call for me.
Here is where you get to tell me your thoughts on all this. I'd love to hear from all of you, but I am really interested in those who have walked this path already and successfully come out of the other side.
What Should Have Happened
2 months ago
5 comments:
Have not traveled this path yet. But I'm anxious to read the comments.
I haven't traveled the path yet, either. All I can do is keep encouraging any attribute in my child other than, "you're so pretty". I try to make way more of my comments about "you are really using your brain" or "I can tell you love math just like your Daddy did!"
I read the book, 6 Ways to Keep the Little in Your Girl by Dannah Gresh and I LOVED it. My baby is getting to the age where I'm going to have to start having some talks and it was a good read with Christian perspective on how to handle a lot of those things.
I have the same book as Amber, and it is great! The author gives some really good examples of how to handle different situations.
Okay, I just realized I forgot to comment because I wanted to think about it before I responded...one thing...I wish I would've had that book they are commenting about!
We did not make a big deal about comments like that. I think I said something like, "well, you know it's what's inside that counts," but generally as parents we didn't condone or encourage the behavior. I don't remember it being a big deal for very long. It never became a problem or we would have stopped it. I do remember my son in 5th grade telling me after having a girl friend in his class that they were better friends than boyfriend/girlfriend. I couldn't believe how he had learned that at such a young age! That provided for some good discussion. Also I tried to be approachable with my kids and not react so shocked that they might never talk to me about sensitive matters. (Because I hid the fact that I had a boyfriend in 5th grade from my parents)
Good luck! I know you will do what is best for your girls. :)
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